what makes us truly happy

Disclaimer: Everything in this blog is based on my ideas and perceptions. I do not wish to impose this upon anyone. If you agree, great, if you don’t please do not be offended.

I have been wrestling with this concept for quite some time now.

 Does true happiness really exist?

Is it possible to be truly happy within and about yourself without having to broadcast it to your social media followers?

what makes us truly happy

I fear everyday that social media has polluted what happiness really should be.

Is it necessary to tell people things to be happy?

Or do people just ruin things… I am a firm believer that you do NOT need a 100 best friends to be happy, because most of the time, 85-95 of them do not have your best interests at heart.

MY DEFINITION OF HAPPINESS:

Happiness is a state where you are filled with joy, elated and content.

what makes us truly happy

If these three feelings are there within me at a particular moment of time, I can confidently say I am happy. I know many of us struggle with this concept and often get stuck in a certain mood that I like to call “the numb zone” or the “meh zone”. You know when someone asks you what you are doing or how do you do and you just shrug and go,

“Meh..”

Yes. That moment is what I would like to draw to your attention to. Why do we let ourselves feel that way? Unproductive, lethargic, wishful and stuck in the endless loop of social media scrolls…

Why aren’t we out there seizing the day?

It’s about time we did because based on the state of global warming and climate pollution, we don’t have that much time left on this planet.

Coming back to the concept of happiness, you need to define your happiness. The main reason why I have been contemplating the relationship between people in my life and happiness; is because of the way I have been feeling over the past 2 years. Except for maybe a select few people in my life most people in my life don’t really know how to cope well with my happiness.

And I really don’t mean that in a dictator way like “Everyone must rejoice in my success”, kind of way, although I don’t mind admitting that would be freaking awesome, as I honestly believe I would make a great ruler. I have some great policies like unlimited nap times at work, air conditioners in every building etc.

Yes, it feels great to share your good news with people, but does it really matter? I have had quite a few moments in my life like for example when something good happens at my place of work, when I tell certain people they get excited for me, other nod and are just waiting for an opening to talk about themselves. And back then when this used to happen I used to feel hurt and it would immediately dampen my spirits. There are many competitive and extremely self oriented people who forget to listen and instead hear your words.

Over time I became sick of reducing my happiness because of someone else. I decided that I didn’t need to share things with people who would not understand, appreciate or care about the good things happening to me. Your happiness is your responsibility and your right. Go ahead and get yours! Don’t let anyone for a second make you feel like you don’t deserve every inch of what you get for yourself!

So I decided to find out for myself by doing things that make me happy and not telling anyone about it.

Does it really make a difference?

Could I or would I only feel happy if I told someone about it?

So I joined a dance class and didn’t tell anyone, (they will find out eventually… but I can’t help that), went shopping for great outfits at the mall or online without consulting anyone, trying out a new dishes at restaurants, watched new shows on Netflix, donated  to charity etc.

I did things for myself and honestly, I felt truly happy. The world didn’t need to know as long as I was content. Later people caught up, were surprised and wanted to join me, but most still didn’t care. Here’s where I would like to bring back my earlier point regarding social media and how it has affected how we feel happiness.

If it’s not on your Instagram, basically, it didn’t happen.

The people whose attention I was waiting for they didn’t care unless they were reaping benefits too or whether they could post about it. Maybe their minds have been too zapped by social media, that their mind is just an arena of mindless scrolling. If you don’t get out of the numb zone, you could become like them and forget to be present. Appreciate your friends in their big moments, be there, show some love.

Throughout this journey of trying to find my happiness and finding ways to not let other people affect it, I have dropped the ball and been a bad friend and done the completely unholy, “Do unto other as they have done to you”. I am definitely going to try and be more present, and really listen rather than just hear.

I feel like this post was really my catharsis, regarding what I think makes us truly happy. I feel we let other people have too much power in our lives. If we focus on being open, and true, then nothing can affect our happiness for too long.

Now many of you may have really felt that bit regarding the numb/meh zone and I would just like to remind you that it is NOT a permanent state. It’s a state you can get out of only if you put your mind to. Here are a few things you can try to get out of that zone:

what makes us truly happy

10 THINGS TO TRY TO GET STARTED ON YOUR HAPPINESS JOURNEY

  • Set small goals like organizing cupboard, or cleaning room and rewarding yourself for it.
  • Buy a brand new outfit and wear it out.
  • Visit a charity or shelther. Help out by serving meals or playing with the children or spending time with the elders.
  • Be more grateful. Wake up every morning and make a list of three things you are grateful for. See how that sets the tone for the rest of your day.
  • Smile at people you don’t know. I don’t mean everyone you see on the road, but people you stand next to in public transport and elsewhere.
  • Join a class that you have been meaning to join for a while.
  • Call up that friend that you miss having long conversations with. If you want you can write down topics so that you can fill any lulls in the conversation.
  • Get a good pair of comfy shoes to walk in, nothing makes you crabbier than walking in uncomfortable shoes for hours
  • Have a dance party. No I don’t mean hit the club. Get out your speakers and dance your heart out, really break a sweat. This is a guaranteed mood booster.
  • Keep negative people away. I know it can be hard, so try to tell them lesser about your life if they make you feel bad about living it the way you do.
what makes us truly happy

I hope this post has cleared up some doubts y’all may have had about what makes us truly happy. Sharing happiness with people does make the fruit taste hell of a lot sweeter but only if they are really there for you or it can leave a bad after-taste. Start now, create your definition of happiness and ensure every decision you make from now makes you feel truly happy and not going back into the numb zone.

Let me know your thoughts regarding happiness in the comments below.