Corona Virus. Nope.
Love. Now that’s more like it.
It’s claimed to be one of the most innate truths of life. Yet it’s the most elusive one. You ask a Monk or a spiritual person they will claim everything is love and that hate is just a version of love.
Now I am not here to talk about the kind of love that resides within each of us and is supposed to connect all of humanity and nature. That sort of discovery will probably manifest in my writing after a few more years of soul searching.
I am talking about the simple kind of love. You know, the one that makes you want to get boo’d up, mess up your sleep cycle, or call someone babe, baby, honey or *insert embarrassing nickname that is funny to no one except you and your partner*
Yes, the kind most of us crave deep down or want without knowing that we want it at all. The kind of love that makes you feel like you are floating on air as long as you have got that one person by your side. The kind that makes you see your friends a little less, shave a little more and feel like every song you listen to is about the two of you.
I see a lot of memes and declarations that the current pandemic we are facing is going to be the death of romance and relationships. If you are single you end up needing a romantic connection beyond reasons understood by you. If you are in a relationship and not with your significant other (SO) you really, really want to be with them. If you are in a relationship and you are with your SO you start resenting them because you are together 24×7.
Seems about right?
What I don’t see is how your pandemic love story is any different from your pre-corona love story?
You met through your phones, or exchanged numbers through your phone, talked on the phone, video called through your phones and texted through your phones, had your heads in your phones, tuned into work, memes, taking bomb selfies and watching videos way before Miss. Corona rolled up on you.
Most relationships did exist through technology even before the pandemic, yet you blame the pandemic for the fall it took.
Now I know, you guys are thinking about the physical intimacy. What about holding hands and forehead kisses, backrubs and doing the deed? Isn’t that important for a relationship to work?
And I love all that too. But do you think missing out on just that could lead to the downfall of your relationship?
People have maintained long-distance relationships for years over technology. Heck, people even built love stories through letters and a few pictures that took ages to get delivered.
And yet we complain that being six feet apart or in the comfort of our own homes is going to destroy relationships.
Another common issue I heard about is the inability to do things with your SO.
“We can’t go out to new places or restaurants.”
LISTEN UP! Nobody can! But you get to spend time with the person you claim to care very deeply about, so what does it mean when you say you cannot spend time together for more than a few days.
I would like to call BS on all these excuses!
Lack of physical intimacy and not being able to go out is two of the lamest excuses you can give for breaking up or not being able to find love.
All good and great love stories these days happen in the light of a laptop or phone screen while you are binge-watching something on Netflix anyway, so what’s really the problem?
The madness and fear of the pandemic is causing us to see things more clearly or constant exposure to negative news is disrupting your abilities to think positively. So if you really can’t work it out during this time, maybe it was never meant to be.
What we are being forced to do, is to converse. To really get in there about our thoughts and fears, about death and mortality, about family and futures. People are forced to get real with issues they have been dealing with and mostly going on inside their own heads, with no external factors like sex, or new experiences to pacify it. And that is the only foundation a real relationship needs.
We are living in the golden age of communication where every thought that you had in mind can reach the hands or ears of anyone you want it to reach. Everyone you love or want to love is a tweet, message or call away.
Don’t distance yourself from love or the possibility of love. It’s really not as far-fetched as you think. Get online, get on dating apps and social media and talk to people, talk to old friends, just maintain connections with people who make you feel good. Open yourself to love – any kind of love as friendships or relationships and I promise you this pandemic will not seem as bad as it is.
Please don’t even think for a second that you don’t have anything if you don’t have a partner or don’t want to find a partner at the moment. I totally get it. Finding beauty in the mundane, finding joy in the mundane, finding love in the mundane- that is what we need to do. If your relationship with yourself and people you care about can survive a pandemic you can survive anything.
Human beings are being given a blessed opportunity to redefine what it means to innately be us. How we treat ourselves, the environment we surround ourselves with and how we treat others – it will all depend on how open you are to love yourself and others.