Let’s talk about lessons learned in 2019.
Phew! What a wild ride this year has been.
I feel as if it has been crazier, more challenging and more exhausting than all of my past years combined. The struggle is real you guys, and it hasn’t been easy. So I thought I would share with you my personal lessons learned in 2019.
Earlier this year I made the decision of leaving a stable job to get my Master’s degree. And I thought that was the hardest decision I was going to have to make this year. What I’ve learned this year is to STOP THINKING THAT, because here are a few other things that happened this year.
I had to leave behind important relationships this year.
I lost my grandfather this year.
I moved to a brand new place I had never been to before.
I felt alone and out of place and found it difficult to make good friends.
I dislocated my patella (knee cap) and suffered severe ligament and cartilage damage.
I decided to get operated on to help stabilize my knee as it would help reduce the chances of another knee dislocation.
So not only did I have to go through extreme pain, recovery and physiotherapy the first time I dislocated my knee, I had to go through that all over again a few weeks earlier after my surgery.
I am writing this article wearing a limited motion knee brace that covers my entire right leg, with 5 healing cuts on my knees. Admittedly the pain isn’t as bad as when I dislocated my knee, which is a good sign, I have been told.
For all those of you who are confused about what exactly happened to my knee, I suffered a Medial Patella Femoral Ligament Injury, which is what happens when the ligament that helps keeps your knee centered and move smoothly with all your activities gets damaged. One good thing that happened because of this is that I got a lot of time for self reflection.
For more information, you can check out this link here.
NOW ENOUGH WITH THE PITFALLS OF 2019
Although I never asked for any of these things, I truly believe none of this would have happened if there wasn’t some good that was to come out of it, a light at the end of the tunnel, if you will.
I wouldn’t wish what I had to go through this year on anyone, but that doesn’t mean that a few good things didn’t come out of it.
My lessons learned in 2019 made me see that I am stronger than I think, my body is capable of more than I can imagine and that real friends and people who mean well will show their true colors during your worst time.
And you don’t need the people who only want to be with you only when things are hunky-dory.
Now let’s deep dive into the good stuff.
2019 taught me a lot of important lessons and I am here to share it with all of you. Consider it my PSA, if you will.
Here are the results of my self reflection in my very personal 2019 wrap up!
- Trust Your Intuition:
There will be times in your life when you meet certain people especially, and a bodily alarm goes off. No one can see it or feel it but you. You might find yourself getting very annoyed with them straight off the bat, you might even feel uncomfortable, anxious and sweaty and you can’t even explain why.
I realized that this year, these symptoms were my body’s way of telling me to RUN!
These aren’t the people for you, just maintain your distance from these people and the reasons will reveal itself later.
The number of times this has happened to me this year is not even funny and if I had trusted my intuition, I would have had much less of a heartbreaking year.
2. Worrying is Going Through It Twice
If you’re a classic overthinker like me, worrying might be like second nature to you. There are literally only a few possible outcomes for every situation. Some may be good for you, others bad. But thinking about the different situations over and over again is not going to help anyone. It’s basically putting yourself through torture and sadness twice.
So instead try this:
Ask yourself two questions:
What is the best possible outcome in this situation?
What is the worst possible outcome in this situation?
Then write down what you would do and what would happen in each case and focus more on the best possible outcome. You will be surprised to see how accurately the best possible outcome came to reality.
3. You can’t prepare for everything
I think this point links to the one above but is still important nonetheless.
A growth mindset or what Marie Forleo calls the ‘Everything is Figureoutable’ mindset. When things go wrong, you get 30 seconds to freak out but after that, you must remember that this too can be figured out. And especially if you are working with a team, you must be able to convince your team members that the setback is only temporary. If they believe that too, then they will be more focused on providing solutions than if they thought that there was no way out.
4. You are stronger than you think
Never in a billion years did I think I would handle all that I did this year.
“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
This quote by Mahatma Gandhi really stuck with me because it really puts things in perspective. Nothing can hurt you unless you let it hurt you. The power lies in your mind to let it affect you in the present or future, choose wisely. I know we all will need a minute to wallow or be in our feelings but eventually, we do get over things which we thought were the worst things to happen to us and we come out 10 times stronger.
5. People reveal their true colors eventually
Have you ever been in a situation where you find out someone’s true character? Things that people you hang out with have no clue about, but they only reveal these things in private when there aren’t many people around. But in situations like this, you can’t really tell others about it without seeming like a bad person or at least someone who talks bad about others. I know, I have been there many times. I wonder why this happens to me first usually, but I think its better so I get to make my opinion before I get too close. This is one of the major lessons learned in 2019.
At the time it seems like the most frustrating thing in the world but fret not, the truth eventually comes out and everyone will start to see what you see, without you having to say a word.
6. Everyone deals with loss differently
What do you expect to see when you walk into a house where someone has just died? People crying, bawling, pin-drop silence, an air of despair if you will. That’s what you expect but sometimes that’s not always the case. When faced with loss:
Some people cry openly
Some people cry in private
Some people talk too much
Some people talk too less
Some people laugh
Some people crack jokes
Some people get bossy
Some people get angry
There is no one way to tackle grief, everyone has their own coping mechanism. Let people grieve as they wish; you don’t get to dictate or control how someone feels pain.
7. People understand only how much they want to understand
I am sure many of you have faced the situation when you are trying to have a discussion with someone and they just don’t see your point, no matter how many facts you have. Frustrating as that is, unfortunately, that’s how all humans work.
We only accept what aligns with our values and thoughts. Other thoughts, ideas, and visions no matter how solid it is will never be able to penetrate the bubble we have created for ourselves over the years.
It’s based on your childhood, heredity, environment, nature vs nurture and all that. So sometimes when people cannot understand where you are coming from or what you are saying just take a step back and let them be who they are. Nobody’s perfect we have our own pitfalls that others may find annoying. We can’t like everyone and can’t expect everyone to like us.
Out of all the lessons learned in 2019, what I’ve learned about letting people be who they are is the most crucial.
8. Pay attention to ones who stick around
Good times are just the best, you feel like people have your back, you have got your ducks in order and all that jazz. But it’s usually when shit hits the fan and you need your close ones to help you out you really get to know who is really there for you and who is not. Pay more attention to these people, you really get to know who is there for you and who is not and these are the people you need to spend your precious energy on.
9. Restricting time on social media is magic
These days everything seems to be happening on social media. Making friends, making plans, finding trips, planning trips, learning about what’s happening, building brands and building lives – social media makes all this happen and so much more.
But the bad side of social media is that it is sadly mind-numbing. It can be extremely distracting and can turn your attention to so many different things and make it super difficult to focus on one thing at a time. It makes you compare your life, make you want things you don’t have and other things.
Try restricting the amount of time you spend on social media and trust me it will change your life. Be mindful of why you are opening an app. Be present when you are scrolling, see a post, read the caption, comment on it, like it, really SEE the post. Be intentional with your social media usage and your life will change.
10. Don’t give to people who only want to take
Energy suckers as I like to call them. Beware of people who only talk to you when they want something from you or are nice to you when they want something or even have a whiny voice, okay sorry, that’s just my prejudice. They will take and take and take and take forever to give back or never give back.
The niceness in us makes us, unfortunately, say yes, but don’t just DON’T. Look away, turn around, or just run from the situation. These people make you feel used and depleted and that’s just not what we want for ourselves now is it?
WE ARE DONE!
Yay! You made it to the end of the post!
These were the lessons learned in 2019 by yours truly.
It was really fun for me to look back on the last year and look at what I’ve learned. January 2019 Me and December 2019 Me are two different people and that’s a good thing. I hope you learned a thing or two from my experiences, drop a comment about the lessons you learned in 2019.
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